I Reject Your Reality
and Substitute My Own

© everlark

surprisebitch:

milliardo:

when you say frozen wasnt that good white people be like

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i cant fucking breathe


  ·  233889  ·


thespacegoat:

bryceckrispies:

thespacegoat:

what is snoop dogg even doing with his life

uhm excuse u bitch, u mean snoop LIONimage

no he went back to snoop dogg after realizing he hated being rastafarian because his hat was itchy

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  ·  180762  ·


kanyewesticle:

my new years resolution is for everyone else to gain 50 pounds


  ·  130497  ·


damianmcgintleman:

"you’re too young to determine your sexuality" said no one to the heterosexual teenager


  ·  174178  ·


smurflewis:

so this happened

smurflewis:

so this happened


  ·  221445  ·


counterpunches:

hetagarnet:

qichi:

linguisticsyall:

Where does your tongue stay when you’re not speaking? If you’re an English-speaker, it’s behind the top front teeth. If you’re a Russian-speaker, it’s on the bottom of your mouth, lying flat.

#what #for real

I JUST FREAKING CONSCIOUSLY CHECKED AND TRIED TO MAKE IT LAY FLAT BUT NO, IT’S SERIOUSLY AT THE TOP OF MY MOUTH. I DON’T LIKE THIS

 


  ·  84384  ·


trillow:

this is the police. open up. tell me something about yourself, don’t be afraid


  ·  97392  ·


perchu:

eating in class when ur not supposed to

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  ·  201411  ·



  ·  112891  ·


greelin:

cyberuser:

i remember when i was 5 i used to take dancing lessons and there was this kid in 7th grade who’d make fun of me and call me “gay” but the jokes on him because i gave his younger cousin a handjob at camp so who’s gay now

i think you’re still technically gay


  ·  221706  ·


lunchtrae:

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

im literally in tears from laughing so hard

lunchtrae:

totallynotmisha:

2002bape:

YOOOO SO LOOK DA FIRST TIME I EVER GOT ON DIS RIDE I WAS WITH A WHITE FAMILY AND U KNOW WHITE FOLKS CRAZY SO DEY DONT FEAR ROLLER COASTERS OR DEATH IN GENERAL. AFTER ABOUT 10 MINUTES OF TELLIN DEM DAT I DIDNT WANNA GET ON I FINALLY SAID YES CUZ I AINT NEVER BEEN NO BITCH AND I DIDNT PLAN ON STARTING THAT DAY. WHEN DA ENGINEER SAID “PLS LEAN BACK AND KEEP THE BACK OF UR HEAD PRESSED AGAINST YOUR SEAT” AND I SAW EVERYBODY STICK DA BACK OF THEIR HEADS TO THE CHAIR I KNEW DAT I MADE DA WORST DECISION OF MY LIFE CUZ I EVEN SAW SOME BLACK FOLKS LISTEN AND U KNOW DAT WHEN BLACK PEOPLE LISTEN A WHITE LADY’S ADVICE , ITS DA REAL DEAL. SO MY FIRST MISTAKE WAS REFUSING TO PRESS MY HEAD AGAINST THE SEAT… THE RIDE TAKES OFF AND MY DOME SLAMS AGAINST THE CHAIR WHILE MY NECK SNAPPED… UNCONSCIOUS INSTANTLY.. WHEN I AWOKE FROM MY 3 SECOND SLUMBER WE HAD REACHED DA VERY TOP OF THE RIDE WHERE THE RIDE MAKES A QUICK PAUSE… WHEN THE RIDE MADE THAT PAUSE I OPENED MY EYES CAUSE I THOUGHT THE RIDE WAS OVER AND WE ALL MADE IT SAFELY. BOY WAS I WRONG… I OPENED MY EYES AND DA ONLY THING I SAW WAS A 300 FOOT DROP STRAIGHT TO DA GROUND SO I SAID “GOD YOU CANT LET ME DIE LIKE DIS”. I THINK I SUFFERED A HEART CONTUSION CUZ MY HEART JUST COMPLETELY STOPPED BEATING… AND THAN THE RIDE TAKES OFF AGAIN… WE MAKE THE 300 FOOT DROP AND I SCREAM MY LUNGS OUT AS IM SCARED TO DEATH BECAUSE DA ONLY TIME A HUMAN SHOULD BE DAT HIGH IN DA AIR IS WHEN THEIR SPIRIT IS BEING SUCKED INTO HEAVEN BY DA GRACE OF GOD.. SO WE SAFELY MAKE IT TO DA END OF DA RIDE AND WHEN WE GET OFF I STUMBLE OUT OF THE SEAT CUZ MY LEGS WENT NUMB AND ALL THE AIR WAS SUCKED OUT OF MY BODY SO I COULDNT TALK EITHER.. DA FIRST THING THESE CRAZY MOTHERFUCKERS TELL ME IS “HEY MAN LETS DO THAT AGAIN THAT WAS WICKED”. I LOOKED AT DEM AND I REALIZED DAT DIS WHITE KID DAT I BEFRIENDED WAS ACTUALLY SATAN. I NO LONGER HAVE ANY WHITE FRIENDS.

please read this whole thing.

im literally in tears from laughing so hard


  ·  445069  ·


wheatdealer:

celsisus:

When ur hair won’t listen to you and its a mess and ur just like ???? I grew you myself??? I gave you life and this is how you repay me??

is that how parents feel


  ·  probably  ·  one can only hope really  ·  97917  ·


jutsei:

Playing a co-op game for the first time with friends who are very good at it

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  ·  LITERALLY ALWAYS ME  ·  LIKE ALWAYS  ·  like i'm p sure seb and joe completely hate me when i play with them  ·  because i just kind of look at walls and do nothing  ·  33750  ·


ex0skeletal:

Pro Tip: Instead of having feelings, try being dead inside. Everything is still horrible but you will not care at all.


  ·  253729  ·


times-like-these7:

sorelatable:

If your name is on one of these I just wanna let you know your parents are basic bitches with no creativity

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Sounds like someone’s sad they couldn’t find their name on a coke bottle


  ·  21975  ·